4 Steps to Aha!: How to Figure Out Exactly What You Want

Bemoaning the things that upset you is easy. Figuring out what would work better? Not so much. Martha Beck shares the four steps you need to visualize the best solution—and then make it happen.

By Martha Beck

Illustration by Brock Davis

Here's the truth: People who get what they want tend to be the ones who make the effort to know what they want.

They say feminism had several "waves," though I can never keep them straight. All I know is, back in the day, one of these waves sloshed me into many passionate conversations with classmates and colleagues about the changes we wished to see in the world. These were mostly good old bitch 'n' moan sessions, in which we lamented everything from unfair wages to sex slavery. True, the potential for another type of conversation did occasionally arise, when someone would ask, "So how do we fix things?" But at that point, a funny thing always happened: We suddenly ran out of things to say.

I don't blame us for clamming up. I understand the buzzkill. Complaining is easy, even fun, compared with the challenge of creating a plan for positive change. Watching some of the brightest women I've ever met struggle to invent practical alternatives to sexism, I gained huge respect for anyone who pushes beyond kvetching and into clarity.

These days, as a coach, I see a similar dynamic play out for my clients. They complain in rich detail about the things that are wrong with their lives: demanding children, overbearing bosses, the bafflingly low sales of their topiary sculptures. But when it comes to specifying the fix, people haul out their broadest brushes. "I just want love," they say. "Passion." "Inner peace." It's like telling a waiter, "Bring me something delicious. I have no idea what, but I'll know it when I taste it." No order that fuzzy is likely to produce a satisfying result.

17 Fabulously Easy Tips And Tricks To Stop Mindlessly Eating

Mindlessly eating is when we eat without thinking about what we are doing. (Emotionally eating is eating to change the way we feel. It's eating when we’re not actually, physically hungry.)

Below are 17 tips to help you stop overcome mindlessly eating.

(At the end, you'll find two very useful questions to help you change the way you think about emotional and mindless eating.)

1. Finishers: We love finishing things! That’s why it’s so hard to leave things on our plates; like that last bite we don’t even want. Our clue that we are done eating is that our plates are clean. Try always leaving a piece of food on your plate.

2. Perception: In a study when people thought they were drinking “cheap” wine, they ate less and stayed at dinner shorter. But the group with the “good” wine (they were the same exact wines) stayed longer and ate more and said the meal was better.

3. Eating: The first bite is always the best so just reduce the portions. Out to dinner? Tell them to pack up 1/2 of your food for home even before they bring out the plate to your table. Say no to bread. This way you don’t even have to look at it. (Here are tips about the best restaurant options for healthy food.)

If you have to constantly look at it, you have to constantly ask yourself the question, “Do I want a piece? Do I really not want a piece?” Save yourself. Put food in the back of cupboards. Make it harder to get to. Thank God for places like Costco. But take Costco size things and put them in smaller containers (then hide them in large bins.) In general, when food is out of your site - it’s out of your mind.

4. Awareness: Are you really hungry when you eat? If you’re not hungry but choose to eat anyway — say out loud, “I’m not hungry but I’m going to eat this anyway!”

5. 20 percent: Try adding 20% more veggies to your plate and take away 20% of the entree. 1/2 plate: Try making half of your plate veggies. I find that eating veggies and salad with each meal really helps me to feel full.

6. Forgotten: There was a great study where 1 group of people ate chicken wings and their bones were kept in front of them. In the other group, the plates were cleared every 15 minutes or so. Who do you think ate less? The group who saw all of their bones. Bonus: You can do the same with wine. Always serve new glasses of wine and be sure to leave the old glasses out and the bottles too! *Bonus - bonus: This actually applies to anything.

7. Just cut it: Mindless eating is when you eat and are no longer hungry. The “I’m full but I can eat more.” Be satisfied and just say, “Done!” (Ginny has a great story about how a custom diet helped her stop making poor food choices and lost 33 pounds. If you've ever wondered, “What should I eat when losing weight?” take a look.)

8. See all you can eat: Like the chicken wings - serve yourself in the kitchen and try to eat in another room. With snacks always pour or put the snack into something. Otherwise, the hand always reaches into that bag.

9. Servings: We generally eat 92% of what we serve ourselves. Obviously, we aren’t feeling whether we are hungry or not. We’re judging by our plates.

Trick: Use smaller plates, dishes and glasses.

Bonus: We drink more from a taller glass than a wider glass.

10. Chop sticks: It takes 20 minutes to digest and realize the affects of the food you ate. Hence, you keep eating when you are no longer even hungry. Solution: Make it harder to eat. Use chop sticks, eat with your other hand (and laugh a lot!). Bonus: Try pacing yourself with the slowest eater at the table. Put your fork down after every bite. And try starting last and finishing last.

11. Groups: When you are with 1 other person you’ll eat 35% more, with a group of 4 it’s 75% more and with 7 or more it’s 96% more!

12. Nice restaurants: You are likely to eat more with low lights, soft music, muted colors and an attentive wait staff. Use the staff to learn more about how the food is cooked and ask your server about which dishes are healthiest. (Read more about how to prevent temptation while out to eat.)

13. Distractions: If you eat while you work or read or watch TV, or do anything in addition to eating, you’re going to eat more. Smell the roses. Live in the moment. Taste your food.

14. Brands: We experience them as better because we expect them to be better. Set your expectations low and all food tastes great.

15. Perceptions: Add two words to any dish and people will think the food is really better. Calling peas, “Power Peas” encouraged kids to eat nearly double the amount they usually do. Great bonus! Spend the last 15 minutes of prep on your food in the kitchen during a dinner party and people will think you are working hard and the food will taste better to them.

16. The health halo: Watch out for Subway or any other healthy eateries. Most people, because they think they are eating healthy, will get a soda (plus a refill), cookie and chips and the most unhealthy sandwiches. The calories will add up and before you know it, you’re ‘healthy’ meal is as unhealthy one.

17. Business parties: Only 2 items of food on your plate at 1 time. Chow down on healthy food first like veggies. While talking set your food down so you don’t mindlessly munch. When you enter the room, remind yourself of the visit: Business or food?

*18. Habits. Excellence is simply a habit. Start now. Not later.Consistency is the key to looking sexy and staying healthy. MBT-ers know that getting the body we want and being healthy and fit is about 3 things: Eating right. Exercising. And doing those two things consistently.

Two Powerful Questions to help you change the way you think about emotional and mindless eating:
1) "Am I using this food or am I eating this food?"
2) What's really bothering me? What am I really hungry for?

Learn more about how to tell if you're emotionally eating.

Source:- http://www.mybodytutor.com/pages/17-tricks-to-stop-mindless-eating

MYTH: If You Want To Slim Down, Go Gluten-Free

Whole grains are part of a healthy, balanced diet, but thanks to all of the hype around gluten-free foods many believe going "g-free" can help shed some extra pounds. Let's take a look at the facts and see if this is a new diet fad bandwagon worth jumping on and shelling out the big bucks for.

The Truth: Only about one percent of the American population needs to be gluten-free because of an autoimmune disorder called celiac disease. Most people do not have to worry about gluten and should eat whole grains as part of a balanced diet.

Recent reports state that the gluten-free market in the United States was $4.2 billion and on the rise and many reports out there indicate that healthy people are spending their hard-earned dough on gluten-free products that they probably don’t need. You’ve seen the products everywhere, but you may be wondering what gluten is and why it might be the culprit for why you’ve packed on the pounds over the last few years, as some have claimed.

Gluten is a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye, and it’s a common protein source and processed food filler. In fact, you’ll find it in many foods, medications, and everyday items — not just your bread and cookies. Other foods like cereal, soy sauce, whey products, alcoholic beverages, such as beer, and even beauty products, such as lip balms, may also have gluten in them too. There are some people — about 1 in 100 — who suffer from an autoimmune disorder called celiac disease whose small intestines cannot process gluten properly and it causes a serious response in their digestive system. Unless you have celiac disease or are allergic to gluten, going gluten-free will not give you any additional health benefits. There are also some people, who experience gastrointestinal bloating, cramping, headaches, or other discomfort after eating foods that contain gluten and may have a non-celiac gluten sensitivity. Many of these folks and those with gluten allergies will choose to eliminate or avoid gluten. The average person won’t get any additional health benefits from foods with the “gf” labels and these new products may even be less healthy. In addition, one Canadian study compared the costs of 56 ordinary grocery items and found that on average, the gluten-free products were 242% pricier than the gluten-containing versions.

Gluten is not harmful to your health and is not making you gain weight. Since so many foods now come in gluten-free versions, it’s easy to think that they are a better alternative — which would be wrong. Gluten is found in many whole-grain foods that have an array of vitamins, minerals, and fiber and are vital to a healthy diet. People who eat three servings of whole grains a day are 30 percent less likely to develop type 2 diabetes. The right mix of healthy carbohydrates, like whole-grain products, is the best way to control your blood sugar and avoid diabetes — plus they help to keep you full throughout the day. Whole grains are also the vehicle for many of nature’s disease fighters, like phytochemicals. Without these foods, we’d be sitting ducks for cancer, heart disease, and more. So when you’re cutting out gluten for no real reason, you’re losing all of the nutritional benefits found in foods with gluten.

Gluten-free foods aren’t better for your health. Don’t be fooled — gluten-free doesn’t automatically mean “low calorie” or “healthy.” In fact, gluten-free foods are not only more expensive, but full of extra calories and sugars to make up for taste and texture when alternative products are swapped. They also tend to have less fiber than their gluten-containing counterparts. Unless people are careful, a gluten-free diet can lack essential nutrients since a lot of the gluten-free products tend to be low in B vitamins, calcium, iron, zinc, and magnesium. Another rule of thumb, don’t confuse “gluten free” with “low carbohydrate,” some gluten-free pastas are actually higher in carbohydrates than regular pasta.

Weight loss comes from balanced, healthy diets — gluten free or not. When you’re trying to lose weight, the key is to make conscious choices about eating whole, real foods and getting produce without pesticides, and meat without hormones and antibiotics. If you need to go gluten-free, consult your doctor or a nutritionist to determine the best eating plan for your lifestyle, but in general, select more fruits, vegetables, lean meat and more naturally gluten-free grains, like brown rice or quinoa. Also, keep in mind that some gluten-free foods can be processed in factories that also process gluten foods leading to cross contamination.

The Bottom Line: If you want to lose weight, you shouldn’t cut out an entire nutrient in your diet, such as gluten. Save money and focus on creating a calorie deficit while eating a variety of organic, nutritious foods and exercising regularly in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Source:- http://www.jillianmichaels.com/fit/lose-weight/myth-gluten-free

What's Wrong With Our Bodies, Anyway?

"Twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, she weighs 23% less."

This is just one of the messages accompanying a bold series of nude photos of Katya Zharkova, a U.S. size 12, in the January issue of PLUS Model Magazine, which asks its readers "What's wrong with our bodies, anyway?"  Quite obviously, there has been a fair amount of publicity and plenty of controversy as some praise the statements made in the shoot while others claim that endorsing a fuller figure is no safer than promoting the current fashion model ideal.

And this is where I want to grab society by its collective throat and shake some sense into it.  I realize my limitations, however. One online column by an eating-disordered womanisn't going to do any more to change your mind about what is beautiful than the PLUS Model Magazine feature will have an immediate effect on how the fashion industry continues to prize the skinny ideal. That being said, I can tell you how I wish I had seen something like this when I was 14. I can only imagine the positive impact a feature such as this would have had on a girl who would become bulimic the following year. Not to mention its effect on me today, as the mother to a preschool daughter, has been quite profound.

When I look at these images, I see pride and confidence and healthy, beautiful curves. I see myself, my friends, my sisters, and my neighbors. I see the mentality I wish to instill in my four-year-old daughter as she grows into a strong young woman who can shrug off society's standards, obsession with diets, and focus on her health instead of the size on the tag.

"We are bombarded with weight-loss ads every single day, multiple times a day because it’s a multi-billion dollar industry that preys on the fear of being fat. Not everyone is meant to be skinny, our bodies are beautiful and we are not talking about health here because not every skinny person is healthy,” magazine editor-in-chief Madeline Figueroa-Jones is quoted as saying.

“What we desire is equality to shop and have fashion options just like smaller women. Small women cannot be marketed to with pictures of plus-size women, why are we expected to respond to pictures of small size 6 and 8 women? We don’t! When the plus size modeling industry began, the models ranged in size from 14 to 18/20, and as customers we long for those days when we identify with the models and feel happy about shopping."

I'm not going to hold my breath for designers to wake up and start using real women as inspiration for their newest collections or for photos of models like Zharkova to become as accepted as those of Heidi Klum. Instead, I'm going to pretend that the world is a giant playground full of children who haven't yet learned that we are all beautiful in our own way, ignore their taunts about the size of my ass, and focus on learning to love what I see in the mirror. And maybe that's the point.

source:- http://www.owningpink.com/blogs/owning-pink/whats-wrong-our-bodies-anyway

Stop Yo-Yo Dieting

...and lose weight for good

As any veteran of the dieting wars can tell you, losing weight isn't nearly as difficult as keeping it off over the long term.

"Whenever I take a diet history, I get a litany of weight-loss plans and programs from experienced dieters," says Molly Gee, M.Ed., R.D., a weight-loss counselor and researcher at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. Yet most dieters' successes with these plans are short-lived and, annoyingly, the pounds quickly return. Gee calls it the "then some" problem: "A lot of women lose ten pounds, then regain it and then some. A few years later, they'll lose fifteen pounds, but regain it and then some." Many clients, she says, have entire wardrobes in several different sizes in their closets.

But it's more than just a clothing issue, unfortunately. The consequences of weight cycling include an increase in disease risk, and the habit can also lead to an undesirable alteration in body composition that ups fat and decreases muscle. This bleak picture explains why nutrition experts advise you to shelve your yo-yo habits and break the cycle with long-term strategies.

"Nearly all of the successful losers in the National Weight Control Registry have been yo-yo dieters," notes registry director James O. Hill, Ph.D., an obesity researcher at the University of Colorado at Denver. "What people need to learn is that if what you've done before isn't working, you need to try something else."

Know Your Habits

The first step to breaking the yo-yo pattern and creating a healthier approach to losing weight is to try a little self-investigation. "It's important to look at your eating behavior and identify your vulnerabilities," says Robert Kushner, M.D., medical director of the Wellness Institute at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago.

He urges clients to graph their weight changes and consider the life events that coincided with weight gains or losses, such as pregnancy, a job or residence change, a new marital status or a death in the family. It helps to understand the events or circumstances in the past that prompted you to initiate a weight-loss program or to abandon one that was helping you slim down.

"When you examine your own weight-loss patterns, you can then identify potential methods and tools that will work for you long term," says Dr. Kushner, author of Dr. Kushner's Personality Type Diet.

Look Beyond the Numbers

Dr. Kushner urges clients to concentrate on their behavior, not on the scale. In fact, he doesn't weigh people in his program until the end of their first visit. Gee urges her clients to focus on goals for their regular eating habits. For example, she encourages strategies such as eating 250 fewer calories each day by passing on bread and butter or cutting a couple of cans of soda from your diet, rather than fixating on a goal of losing 40 pounds. And when you do look at your numbers, keep in mind that experts agree that even a small weight loss should be regarded as a success. Remember that maintaining a weight loss is a huge accomplishment, even if you don't continue to lose additional pounds.

Forget About Fads

If you're a sucker for the diet-of-the-moment, think seriously about resisting the urge. Instead of hopping on the newest weight-loss bandwagon, fine-tune what you do regularly to keep in shape. "Don't try to fit the latest exercise craze into your lifestyle just because it's popular," says Gee. "If you've been making an effort to take a daily walk, don't abandon your plan because it doesn't seem new." Even if something is advertised as an effortless 40-pound-weight-loss wonder, fight the temptation to follow a fad.

Delight in the Day-to-Day

Small daily strategies can make a big difference, says Dr. Hill. Walking 2,000 steps more or shaving just two cookies' worth of calories from a snack can add up over time. Focusing on small lifestyle changes that you can do consistently will bring more satisfaction than strict diets. "Add one or two healthy behaviors to your regular routine, and you're done for the day," says Dr. Hill.

source:- http://www.everydayhealth.com/diet-nutrition/weight-management/weight-loss-strategies/stop-yo-yo-dieting.aspx

The Do's & Dont's of Calorie Counting

Experts explain the right way and wrong way of counting calories to lose or maintain weight

Counting calories is a complicated business. Fat, carbs, protein, sweets -- are all calories created equal, or are some better than others? Here's what the experts have to say.

The History of Calorie Counting

People haven't been counting calories forever (though some days it may feel as if you have). The idea became popular around the turn of the 20th century, according to Jonny Bowden, PhD, CNS, a board-certified nutritionist and author of Living the Low Carb Life: Choosing the Diet that's Right for You from Atkins to Zone, and The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth: The Surprising, Unbiased Truth About What You Should Eat and Why. At that time, scientist Wilbur Atwater noticed that if you put food in a machine, called a "bomb calorimeter," and burned it, you could measure the ash and heat to find out how much "energy" was released and therefore how much "energy" was in the food. The idea caught on, and people began counting calories -- that is, calculating exactly how many calories were consumed when eating particular foods, and "burned" when engaging in different activities. "A spate of diet books in the early part of the century popularized the notion that it's all about the calories -- and it's been with us ever since," Bowden tells WebMD.

Calorie Countdown

"As far as weight gain is concerned, a calorie is a calorie," says Lisa R. Young, PhD, RD, author of The Portion Teller Plan: The No Diet Reality Guide to Eating, Cheating, and Losing Weight Permanently. But there are a myriad of reasons to base your food choices on criteria other than calorie content. For example, if the food you eat contains fiber, it will keep you feeling full longer, Young says, which can prevent you from reaching for "extra" calories in order to fill yourself up.

The benefit of choosing fruits, vegetables, and other lower-fat foods is that you get more bang for your buck, says Betsy Klein, RD, LD, a Miami-based dietitian. Carbohydrates and protein have 4 calories per gram, while fats have more than twice as much -- an entire 9 calories per gram. (Alcohol weighs in at 7 calories per gram.) If you're counting calories to lose weight, but eating higher-fat foods like bacon and full-fat cheese, you could potentially consume over half your day's calorie allotment by the end of breakfast, she says. Choosing carbs and protein for your morning meal, on the other hand, like an egg white omelet stuffed with mushrooms, onions, green peppers, and a small amount of low-fat cheese, will leave you with calories to spare for meals and snacks beyond breakfast.

Why is calorie counting so popular? As Americans, we love easy sound bites, Bowden says. Counting calories (or fat grams) is far easier than actually understanding the complex effects food has on our bodies (and our waistlines). Calories do count, but they are far from the whole picture.

"Food produces hormonal effects in the body," he says. "Some hormones say 'store that fat'; others say 'release sugar'; others say 'build muscle.' Study after study shows that diets based on the same amount of calories, but different proportions of fat, protein and carbohydrates, result in different amounts of weight loss."

Source:-http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/dos-donts-counting-calories