Learn to Love Your Body Regardless of Size 

As I was just browsing one of my new and favorite blog finds, sexgenderbody, (which is amazing and worth checking out IMMEDIATELY), a reader poll pertaining to body image appeared on the homepage which reminded me of something I had been meaning to address for quite some time now. As you all know, and hopefully adore, Medicinal Marzipan is at its heart a blog that works to promote self love, positive body image, and personal well-being, as well as negotiating the complicated and often difficult road of one girl traveling towards a place where all of those things are possible. I just wanted to take a moment to reiterate that, while naturally MM is a blog that is fat-positive (due to my own personal struggles and those that I find pressing on a daily basis), it is my hope that this blog can serve as a place to promote self-love no matter what your body type.

I cannot tell you how many times on a daily basis I run into people who are carrying around an unhealthy and unfortunate amount of shame and self-loathing towards their bodies. This guilt and negative emotional pattern can in turn contaminate every part of your life and self-perception, from the clothes that you put on in the morning, to your feelings of acceptance and happiness in your job/friendships/relationships, to your sex life, and (most importantly) to your relationship with your self when you are all alone and there is nothing left to use as a scapegoat for the ultimate reality of your unhappiness. Learning to love yourself regardless of your size is one of the most crucial and beneficial gifts that a person can give themselves. The ripple effects of learning to experience self love will touch every part of your life, improving and lightening the load of your heart with every step.

The reader poll on sexgenderbody states: When I look at myself naked in the mirror, I feel... To which 57% of the responses answered shame. This really resonated with me, because as someone who is no stranger to feeling ashamed when I look at myself in the mirror, I take great sadness in knowing that other people feel the same way. We are limiting ourself with the enormous amount of perpetual shame we feel in regard to the way we look.  Think of how much time you would have in your day if you could teach yourself to replace negative feelings of self-loathing, with feelings of joy and love and abundance.

Perhaps at this moment you are thinking to yourself, well Marizpan, thats just the way I feel and could you please get off of your soap box because I saw you shuffling down the street this morning in a clear and obvious battle with your body not looking like you’re loving much of anything, much less your self.  And you would be right. One of my first thoughts this morning was that I felt fat and uncomfortable and completely undesirable. In fact, I have wasted much of the day feeling this way, but I take comfort in knowing that these thoughts become less frequent everyday, and I love myself now a whole heck of a lot more than I did a year ago.

The most amazing thing about this problem, is that I have found that it lends itself to nearly ALL body types and sizes. And, while I sit secretly imbued in disgust and resentment when a very thin friend of mind regales her negative body image and personal feelings of shame regarding her body, it is important to keep perspective on this point. Nearly everyone, no matter how skinny/tall/perfectly shaped they may look, feels this way about themselves from one time to another. So, it is important to promote healthy body image regardless of size, even when that seems difficult.

Tools for learning to love your body no matter what your size:

• Buy clothing (and, perhaps more importantly, underwear) that fits you and allows you to feel comfortable/sexy/pulled together/happy. STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE SIZE ON THE LABEL. There is nothing worse than feeling like you have to starve yourself for a week to fit into that dress you bought a size too small, because you just couldn’t bring yourself to buy a size 6/14/24/whatever. Getting stressed about getting dressed in the morning has an unfortunate way of ruining your entire day, and sometimes the tight pull of your size-too-small-underwear becomes a constant reminder of your perceived failures all day long. 
• Talk sweetly to yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you look. Bonus points if you can do this naked. Because, remember, you are beautiful, many people probably think so, and a little reminder to your heart here and there will go a long, long way. 
• Do not give people who delight in making you feel fat/ugly/unlovable/unworthy a SINGLE SECOND more of your time. Wash your hands of them (but have compassion, because probably the root of their meanness lies in their own insecurities). 
• Move your body. It is MUCH harder to hate your _insert body part here_ when it is directly responsible for allowing you to walk down the street/carry your groceries/have amazing sex/pick up your children. You will feel better with every step you take. Bonus points for doing something like hula hooping which will both cause you to move your body around, and also allow you to express some sensual creativity. (It is an absolute fact that you cannot feel badly about your body and hula hoop at the same time, this is a 100% smile guaranteer.) 
• Do not sit around with your friends/family/loved ones and bitch about your bodies as a form of social interaction. It hurts you. It hurts them. I am willing to risk my life that you have better things you could be doing with your time.

source:- http://www.operationbeautiful.com/learn-to-love-your-body-regardless-of-size/

Learning to Love My Non-Bikini Body

Learning to Love My Non-Bikini Body

I flipped through the racks of swimsuits, my fingers sliding past the size zeros. After not exercising all year, I’d put on nearly 15 pounds since last swimsuit season. Now I was an 8, just a few Krispy Kremes away from double digits. Finding my new size felt like a trip down Obesity Lane: After zero, there was size 2, which I wore in college when I was a bike-riding vegetarian; 4, my size in grad school, despite all those appetizer samplers at Eat N’ Park; and just a year later, an 8. Trying to squeeze into anything smaller might well violate several states’ obscenity laws. Time to supersize my swimwear.

Then I saw it: a Kenneth Cole gray-and-black python-print bikini. The sexy suit to end all sexy suits. It broadcast the kind of confidence I used to have, the thing you’d wear for a romp in the surf, à la From Here to Eternity.

I found one in my size and headed to the dressing room. I stripped down without looking in the mirror. Then I pulled the suit bottom up over my underwear, latched the plastic bra hook in back, and tied the strings tight behind my neck, lifting each breast into place, a little extra up top being the only bonus of my weight gain. Then I looked at myself.

Now, at the tail end of winter, I was pale beyond white — almost a translucent blue. I hadn’t waxed, and the brutal fluorescent lights revealed lumps and hairs and veins and bulges. I looked like a python, all right — a python that had just swallowed an entire family of rabbits.

So, then, why did I plunk down $86 on the bikini? Staring at myself, I decided that it would be my motivation, chanting the “If you buy it, you will diet” mantra of so many dumbly optimistic women before me. I had to be on the beach in three months, and this suit, if anything, would remind me how I wanted to look.

With it strung across the top of my mirror, I hit the gym after work nearly every day and sulked over salads in the cafeteria while my officemates gorged themselves on sandwiches and barbecue Kettle Chips and cupcakes. When I went on an ice-skating date in the park, I mumbled something about not wanting to waste 200 calories on the hot chocolate my companion offered. I may be rigid, dull, and controlling company, I reasoned, but I’d look good in my underwear. Not that we ever got that far.

Those three months of deprivation dragged on, every day making me a little thinner, a little firmer, and a lot whinier. Then I debuted the suit.

Lying on a Long Beach Island novelty towel in my python-print bikini, I sipped water while my friends passed beers from a cooler and pulled slices from a pizza box in the center of our blanket. I wanted a piece more than anything in the world, but even on this proof-of-heaven blue-sky day, I was too stuck inside my own head to have any fun.

On the trip home, I seethed about the stupid swimsuit that had whipped me into such a vain panic, ultimately ruining a shopping trip, a date, countless lunches, and the vacation I’d looked forward to all winter. That’s when I had my forehead-smacking moment: Basically, I’d sold out who I was to look like someone I wasn’t.

Recently I found myself digging through my underwear drawer when I spotted the bikini that gave me so much angst. With another swimsuit season upon us, would I wear it again? Sure, extra pounds and all. But, more important, would I go back to being the girl who orders soft-serve ice cream and fries on the boardwalk, who plays Frisbee without needing to first check for a stomach roll or reach for a cover-up? Yes.

Source:- http://www.webmd.com/beauty/style/love-non-bikini-body

7 Ways to Love Your Body (Through Thick & Thin)

7 Ways to Love Your Body (Through Thick & Thin)

This is not another diet guide. It will not show you how to lose ten pounds by Thanksgiving. It will not introduce you to a new set of “miracle ab crunches” or rave about the latest liposuction advances. And there will be no butt pads, silicone, or fat-free recipes to share.

I’m writing this because I, like many women, used to diet until I was dizzy. I looked at my body and hated the parts that stuck out, and the ones that didn’t stick out far enough. And I believed that having the so-called “perfect” body—at any expense—would guarantee success and eternal happiness.

Do I need to say it? I was deluded.

As women, our relationships with our bodies are dysfunctional at best. With multibillion-dollar diet and cosmetics industries barking at our heels, and even role models like Rosie O’Donnell caving to the “thin-is-in” pressure, loving our bodies is no stroll in the park. It’s especially hard when our friends complain about their bodies, and our moms have been on diets since we were in diapers.

But this is a matter of life. When we don’t feel comfortable in our bodies—our natural bodies—we deny our spirits everything from dancing to delicious food to lustful abandon. We miss out on all the sensuality and joy that life offers. And we deserve to have it all.

Here are seven ways to fight the pressure, and practice the new art of loving your body, just the way it is

This is not another diet guide. It will not show you how to lose ten pounds by Thanksgiving. It will not introduce you to a new set of “miracle ab crunches” or rave about the latest liposuction advances. And there will be no butt pads, silicone, or fat-free recipes to share.
I’m writing this because I, like many women, used to diet until I was dizzy. I looked at my body and hated the parts that stuck out, and the ones that didn’t stick out far enough. And I believed that having the so-called “perfect” body—at any expense—would guarantee success and eternal happiness.
Do I need to say it? I was deluded.
As women, our relationships with our bodies are dysfunctional at best. With multibillion-dollar diet and cosmetics industries barking at our heels, and even role models like Rosie O’Donnell caving to the “thin-is-in” pressure, loving our bodies is no stroll in the park. It’s especially hard when our friends complain about their bodies, and our moms have been on diets since we were in diapers.
But this is a matter of life. When we don’t feel comfortable in our bodies—our natural bodies—we deny our spirits everything from dancing to delicious food to lustful abandon. We miss out on all the sensuality and joy that life offers. And we deserve to have it all.
Here are seven ways to fight the pressure, and practice the new art of loving your body, just the way it is.

A friend of mine used to tear pictures of models out of magazines and tape them to her wall. She said it gave her “inspiration” to work out.
But how inspiring could it be, I wondered, to surround yourself with pictures of people you could never actually look like? (At least, not without the help of surgery, an airbrush, and some DNA scrambling.)
This same friend only frames photos of herself that make her look thin. The rest stay sealed in their Kodak envelope, as though the FBI might raid her bedroom one day, discover a few extra pounds, and drag her to a maximum-security prison.
Take a look at the images you surround yourself with. How do they make you feel? If it’s inferior, ugly, imperfect, or bad, a ceremonial ripping-down may be in order.
One thick woman I know decorated her room with images of voluptuous, full-hipped goddesses, who were not only considered beautiful, but powerful. Another created a “wall of inspiration” with pictures of women from her family who had loved and supported her for who she was.
How do you find that inner goddess? Start with a full-length mirror. Many women play a love-hate game with mirrors, gazing at the parts we like, and avoiding the ones we don’t. We never looking at our bodies as they are. Instead, we pick ourselves apart like chicken dinners, scrutinizing our thighs, our breasts,our legs. And what we see in the mirror is often no reflection of what is really there.
Find some private time, even if it’s just a few moments. Then take off your clothes, and look at yourself. Let the hateful thoughts run their course, then pass. It will clear space in your mind for positive ones to replace them. Don’t turn away from your reflection — try to clear your mind of judgment and keep looking.
Now look closely at those parts you struggle with most. Do they remind you of anyone? Perhaps those full hips once belonged to your great-great-grandmother. If not for them, you may not even be here—her size could have helped her to survive pregnancy and childbirth. Our bodies are living family albums. Pay homage to your ancestors by loving the body they gave you and the legacy it represents.


When you picture your body, do you think about your heart, your brain, your kidneys? Probably not. More than likely, you think about your thighs, your hair, your stomach.
Because our society places so much emphasis on appearance, and so little on our inner selves, the balance between the two has been thrown off. Have you ever had an upset stomach, a rash, or a giant zit because you were stressed? Has your heart literally hurt when you experienced emotional pain? We forget that our bodies are simply the canvasses upon which our internal conditions express themselves.
Judy Stone, a bioenergetic therapist in Ann Arbor, Michigan, teaches women how to reunite their minds and bodies through a program called Feeding Your Whole Self. People with eating disorders and body image issues, she says, feel like their bodies have betrayed them because they can’t sculpt themselves into some ideal form.
For many women, controlling our appetites or looks gives us a false sense of control over our lives. As long as we can focus on “fixing” ourselves, we can avoid thinking about the fact that we’re unhappy, or that we have unmet needs we’re afraid to address. “People tell me that they’re scared to stop dieting because they’ll ‘eat themselves huge,’” says Stone. “But what they’re really afraid of is the tremendous amount of feeling that would come up.”
Feelings are made up of energy, Stone explains, which flows through our bodies. Compulsive eating and dieting blocks that flow, repressing the feelings we don’t want to deal with. Stone’s solution is to engage the mind and body in a conversation.
The places where we feel heavy, she explains, are often where we hold in feelings. Instead of doing 200 sit-ups when your stomach seems to be “sticking out,” Stone advises that you look to your stomach and ask yourself what it’s telling you. “A heavy feeling may mean there’s a buildup of energy or feelings there,” says Stone. “Instead of dieting to ‘fix’ it, try to understand what the energy means, or how it’s serving you.”
When you think negative thoughts about your body, Stone advises doing something to feel more in touch with it. Talk a walk, write down your feelings, breath, sing. “Getting energy moving restores the flow,” she says. “Even if it leaves us crying and raging, we have to get it out and let life happen. The more the culture gets obsessed with denial, the more we overeat and indulge.”

Imagine what would happen if women decided that building mental strength was as important as pumping up our biceps. We could start businesses. Earn degrees. Travel. Uncover new talents. And imagine the economic power we’d have if we stopped giving our money to Jenny Craig and started saving, investing, or spending it on life-enhancing adventures.
“I have a theory that dieting is a way to make women disappear,” says Rosa, 30. The less space we take up, the less power we have.”
Although men are becoming more conscious of their bodies these days, Rosa points out, “Men work out to get stronger, to take up more room in the world. Women try to get smaller, daintier, until we just turn into pretty little things who can only think about how many grams of fat we’ve eaten today.”
You are responsible for taking care of yourself—and this may mean adding some activity and healthy foods into your life. But to neglect your inner self and favor your body is a waste of your gifts.

Well-intentioned or not, families and friends can be a major source of body stress. They’re often the first to criticize your appearance, or to let you know how pretty you’d be “if you just lost 20 pounds.” Why don’t they realize how hurtful and destructive this is? The people closest to you should build up your self-esteem, not knock it down. They may think they’re offering helpful suggestions, but they’re not. So let ‘em know: it’s my body and my business. Stop projecting your hangups on me. Go eat a Twinkie and leave me alone.
Of course, that’s not always as easy as it sounds. “My father constantly laments about how tiny my mom was when they met,” says 19-year-old Carmen. “I’m like, she’s had five kids! And he’s not even in shape himself. I can tell it really bothers my mom. She’s always talking about needing to lose weight.”
After Carmen left for college, her mother was quick to point out the fluctuations in her daughter’s weight with every visit. Carmen began to dread going home, expecting another comment that would send her running to the mirror to reconsider her attractiveness.
Finally, Carmen declared the topic of her appearance absolutely off-limits with her mom. “I even threatened not to visit if she didn’t back off,” says Carmen. “It worked. Now my mom is forced to ask about more important aspects of my life, like my classes, my friends, and my ideas.”
It’s hard to stand up to our families and friends. But we have every right to set whatever boundaries help us live in peace.

Although many people argue that being fat is unhealthy, this is not necessarily true. Weight-related health problems often stem from a history of “yo-yo dieting. Losing weight also causes you to lose muscle tissue. The heart, which is a muscle, is affected by drastic fluctuations. Regaining weight suddenly also puts tremendous pressure on your heart.
Furthermore, diets tell your body that food is scarce. Your body reacts by holding onto its fat; your metabolism can get thrown out of whack. In the long run, your system winds up in worse shape.
Bottom line: Healthy people come in every size. There are plenty of fat people who are active and “in shape,” and plenty of skinny folks who are thin but unhealthy. In this case, it’s what’s inside that truly counts.

Sadly, we women can be our own worst critics. But consider the toll this has on sisterhood—and on you. Criticizing another woman’s looks makes you look and feel totally insecure. It also makes you paranoid—if you do it to them, you’ll automatically assume they’re doing it to you. Dogging each other keeps us divided, and therefore defeated.
Besides, we all have a unique beauty to cultivate, whether we’re thick or thin. “I like to think of myself as authentic,” says Dina, 21. “I may not look like a fashion magazine model, but no one else has my genetics. So I just try to be the best me I can.”
Dina’s attitude has helped her to stop regarding other women as enemies. “It’s not a competition,” she says adamantly. By working toward self-acceptance, and checking herself when she finds insecurity flaring up, Dina finds that she now has room to appreciate the individual beauty in other women, as well as in herself.

Many people consider being called “fat” the kiss of death. The fear of gaining weight—or of being seen as fat—is greater than the fear of destroying their health with punishing diets and exercise.
Fat discrimination, some would argue, is the last truly acceptable form of prejudice in America. “She can go on a diet and change that,” people say. “After all, there’s Slimfast, diet pills, and a gym at every turn.”
Today, many women are choosing to describe themselves as fat—proudly.
“Fat is an adjective, like black, short, or blonde,” explains Alice Ansfield, who in the 1990s published Radiance: The Magazine for Large Women. “Unfortunately, it’s been used against us,as though ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ go hand in hand.”
And fat, Ansfield argues, is a lot less judgmental than overweight. “Over what weight?” she asks. “Is there some perfect weight I’m supposed to be at? Our bodies are all different because of our genetic makeup.”
As for the 120-pound woman who stares in the mirror and moans, “I’m so fat!” Ansfield comments, “People who are not experiencing the struggles of society’s size discrimination should not call themselves fat.”
While she acknowledges that all women suffer from some degree of body hatred, Ansfield points out the distinct difference between not fitting into a size 8 dress, and not fitting into a bus seat, a restaurant chair, or a movie theater aisle. And longing to lose ten pounds is different than weighing so much that you’re routinely denied health insurance, or discriminated against by companies who stereotype you as lazy and unemployable.
Adds Ansfield, diets simply don’t work. “You can’t live in a state of deprivation forever,” she says. “And who wants to? There is a person here. We need to be gentle with her, to allow her to feel pleasure. That’s good living.”
To help large women enjoy the good life, Ansfield pioneered Radiance Tours. Since 1994, she has led groups of large women on cruises to Alaska and the Caribbean. For many, it was the first time they wore shorts and swimsuits—Ansfield herself hadn’t put on shorts for 20 years. “A lot of women live from the neck up,” says Ansfield. “We hadn’t allowed this much joy or pleasure into our lives in years.”
Her advice to ALL women is to walk with your head up, and to never, ever apologize for your size. “Get into your body,” she adds. Treat yourself to a massage, an hour in a hot tub or a sauna. Dance naked in your room, or go out and shake whatever your mama gave ya. Take a walk for enjoyment’s sake—and leave the five-pound barbells at home.

source:- http://www.adiosbarbie.com/write-for-adios/7-ways-to-love-your-body-through-thick-thin/

20 Ways to Love Your Body

20 Ways to Love Your Body

1. Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams.  Honor it.  Respect it.  Fuel it.
2. Create a list of all the things your body lets you do.  Read it and add to it often.
3. Become aware of what your body can do each day.  Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.
4. Create a list of people you admire:  people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world.  Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments. 
5. Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.
6. Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.
7. Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your personal style, and that feel good to your body.
8. Count your blessings, not your blemishes.
9. Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance.  Try one!
10. Be your body’s friend and supporter, not its enemy. 
11. Consider this:  your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver every six weeks, and your skeleton every three months.  Your body is extraordinary—begin to respect and appreciate it.
12. Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.
13. Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.
14. Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good.  Exercise for the Three F’s: Fun, Fitness, and Friendship.
15. Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body.  Loving your body means you get to feel like that again, even in this body, at this age.
16. Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself—without mentioning your appearance.  Add to it daily!
17. Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, “I’m beautiful inside and out.”
18. Search for the beauty in the world and in yourself.
19. Consider that, “Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way.”
20. Eat when you are hungry.  Rest when you are tired.  Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.

Source:- https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/20-ways-love-your-body

Thank you Margo Maine.

These Wedding Dresses Are For Brides Who Dare To Go Bare

It's customary for brides to wear white, but that doesn't mean their wedding dresses have to be virginal.

Indeed, many of the gowns we saw on the Bridal Market runways earlier this month pushed the limits of traditional bridal wear and made a sexy, saucy splash. The 11 dresses below are for the most daring brides only.

• JP Yim via Getty Images
  Reem Acra, Fall 2015
• Courtesy of Inbal Dror
  Inbal Dror, Fall 2015
• Fernanda Calfat via Getty Images
  Pnina Tornai, Fall 2015
• Fernanda Calfat via Getty Images
  Mark Zunino, Fall 2015
• Fernanda Calfat via Getty Images
  Ines Di Santo, Fall 2015
• JP Yim via Getty Images
  Reem Acra, Fall 2015
• Fernanda Calfat via Getty Images
  Pnina Tornai, Fall 2015
• Courtesy of Watters
  Watters (Encore collection), Spring 2015
• Courtesy of Inbal Dror
  Inbal Dror, Fall 2015
• Courtesy of Randi Rahm
  Randi Rahm, Fall 2015
• Fernanda Calfat via Getty Images
  Pnina Tornai, Fall 2015

Source:- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/22/sexy-wedding-dresses-bridal-market_n_6017426.html?cps=gravity

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Just some ideas if you are getting hitched next year.........

How I'm Learning to Love My Imperfect Body

I'd love to tell my daughter that I have always loved my body. That I have never abused it to lose a few pounds. That health has always taken a front seat to vanity.

I'm not going to tell this lie to her.

At age 7, she is still pretty innocent about body image and weight. Just recently, she said I wasn't as skinny as another mom. I didn't get mad because, well, she's a kid. Plus, I knew she was joking. We talked a little about how when you listen to your tummy and eat in a balanced way, you grow into the body God intended for you, which is different for everybody. I said some people can get messed up with trying to force their body to be something it's not. But I stopped there.

Someday I'll tell her and her brother the story of my bumpy road to body acceptance. In middle school, I tried to bleach my freckles and wore only black to look thin. When I gained some weight after puberty, I decided to take it off before my senior year in school because I wanted to be "skinny." Slashing my food intake in half, I dropped below 110 pounds, way too low for my 5'4" frame.

Yes, I got compliments, but they didn't help me. Because when you are young and get attention for what you look like, you wonder if people like the real you. It only fed the unhealthy cycle I was unknowingly engaging in.

Throughout most of my 20s, I lost and gained the same five to 10 pounds, but eventually, inched my way to a healthier way of dealing with food and my weight. I began listening to my body and ate well and exercised, to find the scale stabilizing at a comfortable place over about 10 years. I gained about 30 pounds with both of my pregnancies and my weight naturally went down over time. Once I came up for air after having my second child, I noticed my body was set on staying 10 pounds above my pre-kid weight -- with the same balanced way of eating and regular exercise that had become my preferred way of life.

I thought I was beyond the lose-weight-and-try-and-change-my-body stuff, but it's amazing how "thin = acceptance" is so ingrained. I started considering going to bed hungry, skipping chocolate and working out at levels that just weren't realistic.

But something more powerful emerged, and that was the new pair of eyes through which I began to see my body. The extra skin (and padding) on my stomach wasn't gross, but a reminder of how blessed I am to have two healthy children. My body wasn't as thin as it used to be, but it felt strong and healthy, something confirmed at annual physicals. I was becoming grateful for how much my body has done for me, and how much more I want to get out of it.

If I'm 100 percent honest with myself, losing weight at this point in my life would not be for my health, it would be for attention. To be the mom who gets compliments like, "I can't believe you've had two kids and are (gulp) over 40." But luckily, with my new eyes, that desire to look perfect has faded the same way smoke does after a fire.

Two things have changed me: children and time. I know that no matter what my children look like, I will think they are the most beautiful people on earth. How can I treat myself so differently than I treat them? This amazing love, no doubt, has helped put to rest that girl who wanted the wrong kind of attention, for all the wrong reasons. Why was she so hard to let go of?

And with time -- and the hard life lessons, like losing loved ones -- I can see what is really important in life. Why would I put my energy into being a certain weight when there's so little time to love and do what really matters?

So I will continue to teach my kids that bodies aren't meant to be perfect or one-size-fits-all. They are meant to be healthy, strong and well cared for. It just feels good to finally believe it.

Source:- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maryann-jacobsen/how-im-learning-to-love-my-imperfect-body_b_5585561.html

Learning to Love Your Body: 4 Steps to Self-Care

“Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

My life has been one big hate-fest of my body.

I don’t know when or how it developed, but I have been comparing my body to others’ for as long as I can remember. I was never happy, never good enough. There was always work to be done, goals to achieve.

Not only was I constantly on the latest diet that most likely was extremely bad for me, but I was also mentally beating myself up every step of the way.

The self-talk was brutal and relentless. “Why can’t I just lose weight?” “Why am I so fat?”

The negativity didn’t stop there. I hated others too. Women with “perfect” bodies were a major source of jealousy and envy for me.

The few times that I achieved some sort of ideal, I found myself uncomfortable with my appearance. I projected my hatred and jealousy of others onto myself, and just kept falling down the negativity rabbit hole.

Achievements felt shallow, undeserved, and were always short-lived and followed by a period of self-sabotage.

Finally, after a difficult divorce, left as a single mother raising three young children alone, some sort of light bulb went off in my head. No one else was going to take care of me. I was sick of the misery and mental anguish.

I realized more than ever that I needed to take care of myself so that I could have the energy to get through my demanding life. Something had to give, and what I was doing was not working.

I began by simply realizing that I didn’t feel good physically with the way that I was eating. I noticed a daily sugar crash that was leaving me depressed and with no energy. I decided to start there and started eating more whole foods and less sugar.

Taking a new attitude toward my diet increased my awareness of how good health affected me, and that choice built upon itself daily. 

I researched what else I could do to develop better health, and began to properly care for myself. In turn, my life became more manageable, I felt happier, and I was a better mom and person. As a nice bonus I actually lost 30 pounds and became an athlete.

If you’re tired of the self-hate game and ready to begin taking care of yourself, you may want to try the steps that I followed.

1. Focus on health and feeling well.

Stop obsessing over external appearances and obtaining an ideal body, and instead focus on the way being healthy makes you feel and what it gives you. You’ll find a deeper sense of gratification and more motivation to stay on track. You’ll also begin to lose tolerance for the way unhealthy choices make you feel.

You can also reframe the way you look at diet and exercise as something wonderful you do for yourself, rather than a way to punish your unhealthy choices.

Feed your body nourishing food so that you always feel your best, and remove the worries of disease and poor health. Exercise to relieve the daily stresses of life, to release endorphins, to fight anxiety, and to feel good. Meditate to get in touch with your emotions, to connect with the bigger picture, and to feel at peace.

2. Treat yourself the way you’d treat someone you love.

I stopped speaking to myself in a way that I wouldn’t speak to my children. It’s powerful to recognize that the self-hatred is not only unproductive, but that it begins a spiral that takes you further and further away from the things that you want.

How motivated would you feel to perform well for a boss who constantly demeaned you? Now imagine a boss who supported, encouraged, and nurtured you: how motivated would you be then?

Our subconscious mind hears the self-talk and responds to it in a similar way, so make sure your self-talk is loving, supportive, nurturing, and forgiving.

Look in the mirror everyday and repeat the phrase “I am deserving and worthy of all good things, and accept myself unconditionally.”

It may take some time to believe it, but in time you will re-train your thought process to be more positive. When a negative thought about yourself enters your head, take a deep breath, release it, and repeat your positive affirmation in its place.

If you’re not sure, ask yourself “Would I say this to my daughter/son/loved one?”

Treat yourself with the utmost respect, and you will want to give your body the healthy choices that it deserves and needs to function in the best way possible.

3. Stay positive and be grateful.

Don’t waste time and emotions staring at pictures of perfect bodies and wishing to be one of them. If you need visual inspiration, find photos of you at your best, not someone else at their best.

Learn to release negative thoughts about your body and to focus on the good that it brings you every single day. Rather than fixating on not having lost that five pounds yet, or not fitting into that dress yet, make a daily list of your accomplishments and your gratitude.

Just like in the rest of life, when we focus on what we don’t have or what we haven’t accomplished, we feel frustrated and ready to give up. Listing your achievements instead puts your focus on what is going right, which in turn motivates you to do more.

Maybe when you started, you couldn’t do one single push-up—and now you can do 10. That’s huge! No accomplishment is too small to be grateful for, because it has taken you one more step in the right direction. There is now no reason to give up, because with this attitude, you cannot fail.

4. Love yourself first and the rest will follow.

Learn to love yourself by catching and releasing negative thoughts, acknowledging your efforts and achievements, making positive daily affirmations, and seeing perfection in your so-called “imperfections.”

Ironically enough, focusing on loving and caring for yourself first will most likely lead to the external transformation that you’ve always wanted. Once you begin to treat yourself with the respect and care that you deserve, the habits needed for physical transformation develop naturally.

You’ll want to nourish your body because you are grateful for it, so healthy choices will come with ease. When an unhealthy choice makes you feel awful, you won’t stand for it because you know you deserve better.

Before you know it, you’ll see your body transform, and not just in fat/muscle composition, but a healthy glow from the inside out.

I can now look in the mirror, smile, and be happy with what I see, no matter what I see. Part of my beauty is the light that shines from within. I am at peace with myself.

Photo by mikebaird

source:- http://tinybuddha.com/blog/learning-to-love-your-body-4-steps-to-self-care/

Food Addiction – A Serious Problem With a Simple Solution

This article contains detailed information on addiction to food. It explains exactly what it is, how it works and what you can do to overcome it.

Eating healthy and losing weight seems downright impossible for many people.

Despite their best intentions, they repeatedly find themselves eating large amounts of unhealthy foods, despite knowing that it is causing them harm.

The truth is… the effects of certain foods on the brain can lead to downright addiction.

Food addiction is a very serious problem and one of the main reasons some people just can’t control themselves around certain foods, no matter how hard they try.

What is Food Addiction?

Food addiction is, quite simply, being addicted to junk food in the same way as drug addicts are addicted to drugs.

It involves the same areas in the brain, the same neurotransmitters and many of the symptoms are identical (1).

Food addiction is a relatively new (and controversial) term and there are no good statistics available on how common it is.

This is very similar to several other eating disorders, including binge eating disorder, bulimia, compulsive overeating and having an “unhealthy” relationship with food.

How This Works

Processed junk foods have a powerful effect on the “reward” centers in the brain, involving brain neurotransmitters like dopamine (2).

The foods that seem to be the most problematic include typical “junk foods,” as well as foods that contain either sugar or wheat, or both.

Food addiction is not about a lack of willpower or anything like that, it is caused by the intense dopamine signal “hijacking” the biochemistry of the brain (3).

There are many studies that support the fact that food addiction is a real problem.

The way this works is pretty complicated, but this short video explains it in human terms:

8 Symptoms of Food Addiction

There is no blood test available to diagnose food addiction. Just like with other addictions, it is based on behavioral symptoms.

Here are 8 common symptoms that are typical of food addicts:

1. You frequently get cravings for certain foods, despite feeling full and having just finished a nutritious meal.
2. When you give in and start eating a food you were craving, you often find yourself eating much more than you intended to.
3. When you eat a food you were craving, you sometimes eat to the point of feeling excessively “stuffed.”
4. You often feel guilty after eating particular foods, yet find yourself eating them again soon after.
5. You sometimes make excuses in your head about why you should eat something that you are craving.
6. You have repeatedly tried to quit eating or setting rules (includes cheat meals/days) about certain foods, but been unsuccessful.
7. You often hide your consumption of unhealthy foods from others.
8. You feel unable to control your consumption of unhealthy foods, despite knowing that they are causing you physical harm (includes weight gain).

If you can relate to 4-5 of these, then you probably do have a serious problem with food. If you can relate to 6 or more, then you are most likely a food addict.

Food Addiction is a Serious Problem

Although the term “addiction” is often thrown around lightly, having true addiction is serious business.

I’m a recovering alcoholic, smoker and drug addict with a history of many rehabs, jail more often than I can count and several trips to the emergency room due to overdose.

After I had been sober for several years, I started to develop an addiction to unhealthy foods.

Full-blown addiction. Nothing more, nothing less.

The reason I’m telling you this is to demonstrate that I know how addiction works.

I’m here to tell you that food addiction is the same as addiction to drugs… exactly the same.

The symptoms and thought processes are completely identical. It’s just a different substance and the social consequences aren’t as severe.

Food addiction can cause physical harm. It can lead serious diseases like obesity, type 2 diabetes, heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s, arthritis and depression, to name a few.

But you have even bigger reasons to quit than some unfamiliar disease in your distant future. Food addiction is also ruining your life… today.

It breaks your self-esteem, makes you unhappy with your body and can make your life a living hell (like it did for me).

The seriousness of being a food addict can not be overstated. This is a problem that ruins lives and kills people. Literally.

The Law of Addiction – Why You May Never be Able to Eat “Normally” Again

The most important lesson I have ever learned is called the law of addiction:

“Administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance.”

A former smoker who has a puff of a cigarette will become addicted again… instantly.

An alcoholic who has a sip of beer will relapse, with all the horrible consequences that follow.

There is no way of getting around it. This is simply how addiction works.

I am personally convinced that food addiction is no different. One bite of cake, one sip of coke, one “cheat” – that’s all it takes.

Of course, we all need to eat something. Otherwise we’ll die of starvation. But no one needs to eat sugar, refined wheat flour or any of the modern junk foods that people tend to lose control over.

Most food addicts will never be able to eat junk food like “regular” people again. That’s the cold, hard truth.

But if they manage to avoid the “trigger foods,” then they should be able to eat healthy and lose weight without problems.

The truth is… complete abstinence is the only thing that reliably works against addiction. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you will recover.

Although the “everything in moderation” message may work for some people, this advice is a complete disaster for food addicts.

When it comes to addiction, moderation fails. Every time.

This is the simple (but not easy) solution to addiction. Avoiding the addictive substance at all times.

Source:-  http://authoritynutrition.com/how-to-overcome-food-addiction/