Resolutions are either things that are more or less definitely going to happen, or they’re wishlist craziness
Reports of the death of the new year’s resolution seem to be overstated. Or so I thought, looking at Facebook, where there were an intriguing number of people openly stating their resolutions. Then I went back and checked properly and could only find three real resolutions. Plus one more who had said: “My new year’s resolution is to be a bigger idiot. So far it’s going well.”
Looking over the excellent intentions listed, they were all things people were absolutely never going to do or almost certainly going to do anyway. “Write a novel.” “Self-publish an ebook.” “Send out a newsletter in the first week of the year.” Wow, these writerly types really know how to live.
This is the problem with resolutions, and the reason that most people have given up on them. They’re either things that are more or less definitely going to happen, with or without a resolution. Or they’re wishlist craziness. This is why most people don’t make resolutions any more. They know they’re a self-deceiving con.
The truth is that the success of a resolution is really about habit, and there is not much point in “resolving” to change a habit. You have to know how to physically change it. And that’s where we all struggle. Because we are creatures of (bad) habit. In a new book coming out in March, Better Than Before (Two Roads),
Gretchen Rubin, author of a series of bestselling books on happiness, contends that our habits have the capacity to lengthen or shorten our lives. And what we do every day matters more than what we do occasionally. Why is it, she asks, that all of us can (just about) manage to brush our teeth every day without even questioning it, but many of us struggle to establish exercise routines that stick?
Gretchen Rubin, author of a series of bestselling books on happiness, contends that our habits have the capacity to lengthen or shorten our lives. And what we do every day matters more than what we do occasionally. Why is it, she asks, that all of us can (just about) manage to brush our teeth every day without even questioning it, but many of us struggle to establish exercise routines that stick?
The answer to this is, of course, association: most people can’t go to sleep without brushing their teeth, and they structure their teeth-brushing around bedtime. They don’t have to think about brushing their teeth or use willpower (a painful and finite resource) or even remember why it’s important. They just do it. If you can find an exercise routine that feels to you like brushing your teeth, you win. Rubin suggests doing balancing exercises while brushing your teeth but personally, I think that’s weird. But I don’t have a regular exercise routine so don’t listen to me.
Her thesis is fascinating, persuasive and, in some ways, not an easy sell. After testing habit-changing methods on herself and on others and digesting all the studies, she claims that the business of habit formation is intensely, almost painfully, personal. It’s impossible for anyone to advise you on what’s best: you need to work out what will work for you and you alone.
What is a natural habit for one person (getting up early and going jogging) – so much so that they don’t even see it as a habit, it’s just something they like to do – will be virtually impossible in another, no matter how much willpower they employ. The key to changing your habits and establishing new ones is first to understand who you are and why you do the things you do. No big deal, then. Just the work of a lifetime.
While we all try to master that, let’s look at some habit-changing suggestions for others. Because improving the bad habits of others is so much easier than changing your own. How can Russell Brand be better than before? Sack the chest-hair attendant and get some buttons for your shirts instead. (Rubin calls this “Clean Slate”.) Kim Kardashian? Buy some really big pants and keep them on whenever you’re not in a private place. (“First Steps”.) Nigel Farage? Ditch the beer and the pies and replace them with the things we all know you really want, and which you surely consume when the cameras are not there: a white wine spritzer and some pistachios. (“Reward”.) The bad habit I suspect I’m not changing? Buying and reading books about habit formation and altering nothing at all.
Source:- http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/dec/31/new-years-resolutions-bad-habits-die-hard
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